New Relationships and Unplanned Pregnancy
How to Handle an Unexpected Pregnancy with Your New Partner
It’s common knowledge that new relationships come with a honeymoon period. While it’s not the romantic getaway following a wedding, the first few weeks or months of a new relationship are wonderful. There are lots of firsts and romantic gestures; the whole world is full of possibilities as new and exciting as your relationship.
Some things can change a relationship and chip away at the honeymoon period. Time, naturally, exposes faults in your partner that become increasingly difficult to overlook. And the shine wears off. But nothing will end that honeymoon quite as abruptly as an unplanned pregnancy. For most people, a new relationship and unplanned pregnancy couldn’t be a worse combination. If this is the situation you’re now facing, you’re likely left searching for answers about what to do next.
You may even be asking: What do I do with my new relationship and unplanned pregnancy? Can we make it through this? If I’m not ready to parent, what can I do?
Your situation is going to be unique, and there aren’t always easy answers. But, there is help along the way, and it is possible to make the best of this unplanned pregnancy — for yourself, your relationship and your baby.
It Won’t Be Easy
To clear up any misconception at the start, let’s get this out of the way: a new relationship and unplanned pregnancy won’t be easy. That doesn’t mean it always has to be a bad thing. Most things that are truly good in life don’t come easy. This will take a lot of hard work and dedication, no matter which unplanned pregnancy option is best for you. The good news is that this situation may improve your new relationship in a way you never could have imagined.
Things Will Change
An unplanned pregnancy in any relationship is life-changing. In a new relationship, unplanned pregnancy news can drastically alter the trajectory of the relationship. At first this can be challenging, especially if things were going well. But this news doesn’t have to be bad.
Take the time you need to process through all of the emotions that come with a surprise pregnancy. If it’s possible, process these emotions together. Give each other room to work through the negative feelings — fear, frustration, confusion — that come with unplanned pregnancy. Even though it’s hard, and even though things are going to change, they can change for the better in the end.
It Could Make Things Better
The timeline may be significantly faster than you had hoped, but an unplanned pregnancy can cause you and your partner to commit to each other in a serious way. If you truly see a future together and see a path forward through one of your unplanned pregnancy options, this is a challenge you can face together. If you’re able to do this, it will be possible to navigate your new relationship and unplanned pregnancy at the same time.
It Could Make Things Harder
Let’s be honest — the opposite is also true. While an unplanned pregnancy doesn’t have to impact your relationship in a negative way, it can certainly do just that. Some new relationships are unable to withstand the pressure of an unexpected pregnancy. This doesn’t mean your relationship is a failure; it’s just that things happened at the wrong time.
A new relationship and unplanned pregnancy can be difficult to maintain. While this can be heartbreaking, there are still ways for good to come out of your unplanned pregnancy — even without your new partner by your side.
There Is Hope — You Have Options
Anyone dealing with an unplanned pregnancy in the U.S. has three basic options. This means there are different ways to handle your surprise, and only you can know which option will be best for you and your new relationship.
Parenting: It may seem crazy, but parenting is always an option. If you think raising a baby in your new relationship will be possible, this may be your first choice. However, most people in new relationships with unplanned pregnancies do not see parenting as a realistic choice.
Abortion: You always have the right to choose abortion. Keep in mind that each state has different laws, with some more restrictive than others. Abortion is a major decision, and it should be carefully considered before you choose this path. Depending on your relationship, this is something your partner could give an opinion on, but it is ultimately your body and your choice.
Adoption: Choosing adoption can be a way to handle your unplanned pregnancy that benefits yourself, your partner and the baby. The adoption process is meant to benefit prospective birth mothers (like you) as much as possible by providing financial and emotional support during this difficult time. When you choose adoption, you can move forward with your own life and relationship while also giving the baby an opportunity to be loved by a family.
Professional Help for New Relationships and Unplanned Pregnancy
You don’t have to go through this challenging process on your own. You (and your new partner) can call 1-800-ADOPTION at any time to speak with a specialist who will help you understand all of your unplanned pregnancy options. You can also ask about other resources to help with this unplanned pregnancy and create a plan that works best for you both. Should you and your spouse decide to move forward with adoption, you can create an adoption plan together and take the necessary steps to strengthen your relationship during this trying time.
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