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“What does adoption mean to a child?”

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Putting Children Up for Adoption Together

The Importance of Sibling Groups

“I don’t want my children.”

Whether it is financial anxiety, lack of support or behavioral issues that brought you to this thought, we’re here to help. You’re not alone in feeling helpless as a parent. Things seem so difficult; the only way for everyone to have a better life seems to be putting children up for adoption.

You probably have a lot of questions now.

How do you put children up for adoption? What is the process for placing children for adoption together? If there are siblings, will they get separated? Is there anything else I can do in this situation?

We’re going to answer these questions and provide you with practical, helpful information. The situation you are in is challenging, but not impossible. You can find a solution for yourself and your children that brings everyone to a better place in life.

Make Sure Parenting Is no Longer an Option

When you are having thoughts like, “I don’t want my children,” you need to make sure these are not fleeting thoughts or temporary difficulties. Depression, anxiety and many other things can lead you to feel like parenting is impossible. It is a more common thought for mothers than you may think, and, in many cases, it is only a tough season of life.

Putting children up for adoption is a life-changing decision. That’s why it’s important to be 100 percent sure that adoption is the best choice for you and for your children. To help determine this, you may want to ask questions like:

  • Are there resources that can help me parent?

  • Will adoption be beneficial or harmful for my children?

  • Will I be able to provide financially for my children?

  • How will losing my connection with my children impact me?

There are many more questions you can ask, as well as other factors that will impact this decision. There may be more resources available to you than you realize, too. Sometimes it helps to talk this over with a professional. If you are considering placing your baby and his or her siblings for adoption, you can call 1-800-ADOPTION at any time to speak with an adoption specialist about not wanting to parent and how to put children up for adoption.

The Importance of Sibling Groups Staying Together

After you’ve worked through the questions and other possible options, you may realize that putting your children up for adoption is the best path forward. This decision undoubtedly comes from a place of love, because you are trying to do what is best for you and for your kids. There are a few things you should know.

First, you are not “giving up” by choosing adoption. It is common to hear phrases like “give up children” or “giving your kids up for adoption.” But when you choose adoption, you are making a brave decision. There’s no “giving up” here — only giving a chance at a better life.

Second, you should know that it is incredibly important for your children to stay together, if at all possible. It is likely you are wondering whether siblings will get separated when putting children up for adoption. A bulk of research has shown how important it is to maintain a sibling connection through adoption.

There are some myths about siblings in adoption, like that it is good for an older child to have space from a younger sibling, or that separating brothers and sisters will prevent sibling rivalry. These are not true. Maintaining sibling groups in adoption will help children cope with this transition. A sibling is someone who you can trust and relate to, which is a vital relationship for any child in the adoption process.

How American Adoptions Can Help

If you are considering putting children up for adoption together, American Adoptions may be able to help. Typically, it is more difficult to place older children for adoption. This may still be true in your situation, and you may have a difficult time trying to place an older sibling group for adoption with a private adoption agency, depending on their ages. American Adoptions primarily specializes in placing newborns and infants and can assist with some toddler and older child placements on a case-by-case basis.

However, American Adoptions also recognizes the importance of siblings groups. That's why, if you want to place your newborn for adoption along with his or her sibling(s), our agency will not split the children up. There are many loving adoptive parents who would be willing to respond to the need of a sibling group adoption. On the other hand, American Adoptions may not be the best adoption agency for you if any of the children you wish to place are more than a few years old. In this case, you may decide to place your newborn or infant for adoption with our agency through an open adoption, which would allow your baby to maintain a relationship with his or her other siblings, or you may consider other parenting resources or adoption professionals who are better equipped to place older child sibling groups. 

If you work with American Adoptions when you are putting your children up for adoption, you will have control over the adoption process and be respected by everyone involved. This means things like:

  • Creating your adoption plan with the help of an adoption specialist

  • Deciding what level of openness you would like in your adoption

  • Choosing the adoptive family who is right for your children

  • 24/7 counseling and support

  • And more

Just like in a domestic infant adoption of a single infant, you are in the driver’s seat of the adoption process as the mother. This process won’t be easy. There will be significant emotional challenges, and the transition will be hard for both you and your children. But our dedicated staff is here to do everything possible to help, and knowing you are in charge can bring some sense of relief.

What Do I Do Next?

Parenting may still be possible with the right help, or putting your children up for adoption may be the right decision for you. This is a difficult decision, and either choice will involve challenges. If adoption is the best choice for your family, you can be sure that your children will stay together and that you will be treated with respect at American Adoptions.

If you’re considering placing a sibling group for adoption, you can always request free information and to schedule a time to speak with an adoption specialist to go over all of your options. Contacting us does not obligate you to anything. You will never be charged by American Adoptions, and our adoption specialists will not try to convince you to choose adoption. We want what is best for you and your kids — whatever that may be.

Disclaimer
Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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